When it comes to the political stage in South Africa, one name that always stands out for his wit and charisma is none other than General Bantu Holomisa, the president of the United Democratic Movement (UDM). While many politicians might rely on rehearsed speeches and stern expressions to make their point, Holomisa has perfected the art of blending politics with humor, leaving both his opponents and supporters in stitches.
Honestly, someone at Comedy Central needs to take notes—I am requesting a full-on Roast of Bantu Holomisa! The man is a legendary comedian and deserves it. It’s 2025, and we’re heading into the Local Government Elections, so why not try something new? We haven’t roasted a comedian in the political sector before, and let’s be honest, Holomisa is one in disguise.
For the uninitiated, the UDM, or United Democratic Movement, was founded in 1997 by General Holomisa himself, alongside Roelf Meyer, after Holomisa was expelled from the ANC. The party was envisioned as a centrist alternative to the dominant political forces of the time, promoting unity and inclusive governance.
Over the years, the UDM has carved out its niche, with Holomisa leading the charge with his unique leadership style and, of course, his unparalleled sense of humor. This man didn’t just start a political party—he started a comedy show, and we’re all here for it.
If there were ever a competition for "South Africa's Funniest Politician," Holomisa would win hands down. His quick wit and hilarious one-liners often leave the entire Parliament in uproar, and his shade-throwing game is second to none.
During one particularly heated parliamentary debate, Holomisa quipped, “We all know Julius is loud, but it’s like he has a megaphone installed in his throat. Someone please adjust the volume; we’re all going deaf here!” Honestly, can someone check if Julius Malema has sound settings? Asking for the whole country.
And don’t even get us started on his comments about corruption. Holomisa once remarked, “Some of these ministers think tenders are Christmas presents. Every day is December 25th for them. Let’s just rename Treasury to Santa’s Workshop and be honest about it!” It’s the kind of humor that makes you laugh and cry at the same time because, well, he’s not wrong. If there’s a “Santa” among us, we’re pretty sure he’s rolling in a government-funded sleigh.
(Enjoy the video attached for more on not only his wit and humor but also on the UDM and the man's intelligence)
But wait, there’s more. Holomisa’s commentary on Eskom’s perpetual load shedding had everyone laughing and nodding in agreement. “Eskom should change its slogan to ‘Expect Darkness, Manage Your Expectations’ because they clearly have no plans to switch the lights back on.” That’s it, folks. Eskom just got rebranded, and it didn’t even cost millions in consultants’ fees. Holomisa did it for free.
What makes Holomisa’s humor so endearing is its authenticity. Unlike some who resort to theatrics, his punchlines often stem from pure observation and a touch of satire. Take, for example, his take on youth unemployment. Holomisa said, “The only job some youth can get right now is updating their CVs. We’ve got a generation of professional CV writers thanks to you lot in government!” Brutal, but again, he’s not wrong. If CV writing were an Olympic sport, South Africa would be winning gold every year.
During one such debate, he casually remarked, “I’m all for land redistribution, but maybe we should start with the EFF’s office furniture. Those chairs are too comfortable for people who are always standing up in protest.” Someone get the EFF a standing desk, please!
The truth is, South Africa’s political landscape often feels like a soap opera, but Holomisa reminds us that it’s okay to laugh amidst the chaos. His ability to highlight serious issues with a humorous twist is a rare gift that makes him relatable to South Africans from all walks of life.
While others are shouting at the top of their lungs, Holomisa is making everyone laugh—and sometimes that’s the loudest message of all. I have also had the pleasure to seat beside this legend at an event I attended and let me tell you, the man is as hilarious as ever and we need more of such people in the political space and in life generally.
So, Comedy Central, if you’re reading this, please consider the Roast of Bantu Holomisa. We promise it will be the event of the year. South Africa deserves a good laugh, and Holomisa is the man to deliver it.
As we head into what promises to be a fiery Local Government Election season, let’s take a moment to celebrate the lighter side of politics with the King of Political Punchlines himself. General Bantu Holomisa, we salute you Mhlekazi.
Now, where’s that roast?
