Love, in its purest form, should be selfless, unconditional, and free of expectations. Yet, in a world where entitlement often masquerades as love, we have seen relationships crumble under the weight of control, manipulation, and the misguided notion of "owing" someone for their sacrifices. This toxic mindset not only destroys relationships but also endangers lives.
Take the tragic case of Sibusiso Lawrence, who murdered his wife because he believed his financial support and sacrifices entitled him to ownership of her life. It is a chilling reminder of how dangerous it is when people conflate love with control, sacrifice with obligation, and support with dominance. Women, in particular, bear the brunt of this entitlement, often living in fear of the very people who claim to love them.
True love does not keep score. It does not demand a debt to be repaid or use past sacrifices as leverage. Whether it is romantic love, familial bonds, or friendships, the act of giving should stem from a place of genuine care, not a hidden agenda of reciprocity. Yet, too often, people expect something in return for their kindness, creating a transactional relationship where love becomes conditional.
If a relationship turns toxic, no matter how long you’ve been in it or how deeply invested you are, the best thing you can do is walk away. It doesn’t matter how much someone once made you smile or how intertwined your lives have become. If the connection has devolved into control, entitlement, or abuse, staying is not an option—it’s a danger.
Men, in particular, must dismantle this destructive belief that they own women because they’ve "done things" for them. A woman is not an object to be purchased, traded, or controlled. She is not a possession to be "owed" anything. When a relationship ends, it is over—there is no justification for harassment, violence, or coercion. No amount of money, time, or effort gives anyone the right to take ownership of another person’s life, choices, or body.
For those who find themselves in toxic relationships: walk away. It may be hard, and it may feel impossible at times, but your peace, safety, and happiness matter more than history, promises, or nostalgia. A relationship should never make you feel indebted, unsafe, or trapped.
To the men who cling to this idea of ownership, I urge you to rethink what love means. Love is not about control; it is about freedom. It is about giving someone the space to grow, thrive, and be themselves—whether they stay with you or not. If someone chooses to leave, let them go with grace. Their departure is not a reflection of your worth; it is a sign that the relationship has run its course.
Let us create a world where relationships are built on mutual respect, where love is freely given, and where leaving a toxic environment is not just encouraged but celebrated. Let us reject the idea that people owe us for what we’ve done for them. Instead, let us embrace love in its truest form—without expectation, without entitlement, and without ownership.
Because love that demands repayment was never love to begin with.
