Ooh, what a journey life has been. A road filled with triumphs and trials, joy and sorrow, love and loss. But through it all, one thing has remained constant—the unwavering love of God and my ancestors.
Their presence surrounds me, their wisdom whispers through the wind, and their strength carries me forward when I feel like I can’t go on.
There were times when I thought I wouldn’t make it. The weight of life pressed so heavily on my chest that I could barely breathe. The world can be cruel, people can be unkind, and the battles—both seen and unseen can be relentless. But even in my darkest hours, even when I felt completely alone, God and Abadala never abandoned me. They held me close, wiped my tears, and whispered, "You are not alone, S’ikuthembile. Keep going."
There is a verse that speaks so deeply to my soul: "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." – 2 Corinthians 4:8-9
This is my life in words. I have been pressed by struggles, but I am not broken. I have been persecuted by those who do not understand me, but I am never truly alone. I have been knocked down by life's pain, but I rise, time and time again. Because I do not walk alone.
I walk with AmaJwarha and AmaNxasana, the warriors of my bloodline who stood tall before me. I walk with God, whose love shines upon me even in the darkest of storms. I walk with my father, whose spirit still lingers, whose love still cradles me even though he is no longer in this realm.
I miss him so much. Lately, the longing for him has been deeper, heavier. There are moments when I close my eyes and wish to hear his voice just one more time, to feel his presence, to laugh with him. But instead of drowning in grief, I call upon his spirit, knowing he watches over me. He is here. He is with me.
There is an African proverb that says: "Those who are dead are never gone; they are in the shadows watching over us."
I feel this deeply. My ancestors love me fiercely, protect me ruthlessly, and guide me endlessly. They speak to me in dreams, they send me signs when I need them most. They remind me that I am part of something greater—a lineage of strength, resilience, and power.
And so, I pray:
Lord, AmaJwarha, AmaNxasana—continue to walk with me. Continue to cover me in your protection and wisdom. Help me accept what I cannot change, and give me strength to face the things I can. Teach me patience, humility, and the wisdom to remain calm even when the storms rage around me. Let me never lose myself in the battles of this world, and let every dream in my heart come to pass.
The battles are intensifying every day. The spiritual war is real. The forces of darkness rise, but I rise higher. The more I grow, the more I fight, the more I feel the weight of the war. But I am not afraid.
I am a warrior, blessed by the heavens and the ancestors. I am a survivor, walking in the light of those who came before me. I am unstoppable, because I am loved beyond measure.
And so, no matter how hard it gets, no matter how deep the pain, I carry on. I walk in purpose. I walk in power. I walk in love. Because I know that I am never truly alone.
God is with me. My ancestors are with me. My father is with me.
And that is enough.
